The
Delhi/Walton game tends to get me a bit emotional, and sometimes I’m afraid
that my logical side will leave me and I’ll do something really stupid. During
a boring meeting today I got thinking of some of the bad things that could
happen…..
10.
After I start a brawl with some Walton fans, Delhi players come to my aid,
hitting the Walton fans with the bleachers, resulting in suspensions for
several players (ala Indiana Pacers).
9. Nobody
likes the skin tight maroon body suit I show up in.
8.
Wanting to have a shot at getting the game ball, I reach over the fence to grab
it, knocking down Delhi’s potential winning touchdown, and everyone in Delhi
hates me (ala 2003 Chicago Cubs).
7. After
getting into a verbal exchange with the big hairy Stanton guy that’s always on
Delhi’s side, the argument reaches a strange silence, then he tells me in a
deep, mechanical voice “I am your father”.
6. I
get mouthing off to the Walton fans and I don’t have a kid on my shoulder to
protect me (classCfan, if you read this, you’re probably the only one who will
get this).
5. I
convince DK to trade Brenton Hood to Walton. Then Delhi doesn’t win another
state championship for another 86 years, and it’s called “The Curse of the Boys
of the Hood”.
4.
A 20-year old babe comes up to me and tells me how much she loves my website,
and I ask to wait to talk about it till the game is done.
3.
One of our defensive tackles has a wardrobe malfunction when the camera is
zoomed in.
2. One
of Walton’s D-linemen takes a cheap shot on our QB, and I rush the field to
confront him, and the D-lineman grabs my head and throws me to the ground (ala
Pedro/Don Zimmer).
1.
After close calls in ’97 and ’04, Smokey has finally had enough and boots me
from the place.