Job Perks

Aside from paying better than a corporate tax attorney, the job of webmaster of delhifootball.com comes with several perks. There’s the luxury box for each game at Dave Kelly Stadium. Then the unlimited use of the driver ed Corvette.  And don’t forget my rock-star like popularity when all the ladies figure out who I am (the Beatles never had it so good). But, by far, my favorite perk is getting to read fan mail. While pretty much every other letter I’ve gotten is very positive (with the exception of right after Pumpkinfest 2005), the letter below was sent in January this past winter, and brought me some good smiles, so I thought I’d share it now. It came with a name that I didn’t recognize, so I’m not sure who it is. Some things he says indicates that he’s at least posing as a player, but who knows. Anyway, I hope it makes you smile as well! By the way, as you can see, it is VERY heavily edited for language…..someone has a potty mouth…..

“Hello, I was just E-mailing you in regards to your website, and alls I would really like to say is. Do you even know the sport of football? Like honestly, you know some stats here and there and you aren't even that great at calling a game because you make no split to be covered and you barely hit .740 So what im really trying to say is, I have a couple of comments that have frustrated me and most of my teammates throughout the season. First off, pull your head out of xxxxing brenton hoods xxx ok? He can't return kicks, we tried it during practice, he got a boo boo and couldnt practice the rest of the xxxxing day alright? Second off, keep your oppinons on what we need to do to win games, to yourself alright? You don't know what we need to do to beat people, you know why? Because YOU ARENT ON THAT FIELD. You sit there behind your computer bashing players on the team and talking about how were not strong enough in certain areas, and to be quite honest, I don't think delhi's secondary appreciated the amount of xxxx you talked about how we were gonna lose games for the team. Because in the end, its not just the secondary, a little thing called a pass rush might help, thats when the defensive linemen go after the quarterback, the quarterback is the guy who gets the ball hiked to him by the center, hes the middle offensive linemen, im only going into detail because I know how xxxxing retarded delhi hicks such as yourself don't know how to make the little pictures in there head to realize what the xxxx is going on ok? I mean, xxxxx when someone has about 8-10 seconds to throw the ball, xxxxing Theresa Schiavo [my FAVORITE LINE HERE! – jmh] could find a wide open reciever ok? Also, theres a couple more things i'd like to say, first off, don't blame our quarterback for interceptions, cause when you only have 1-2 seconds to throw the ball, then you can't make good passes and you can't move your body into the throw. ( Yes you move your body into the throw because the ball goes out faster and with a better spin producing a nicer throw ) And when you only practice throwing the ball 7 times a game, you can't expect great results ok, and when you use the same pass routes defense's eventually catch on to what is gonna happen. And also, one more thing I have to say, is yes we had an amazing offensive linemen when it came to the run blocking, and we had a very good defensive front for stopping the run. Our linebackers were always there where we needed them, and our secondary really stepped up to the plate considering none of them played at defensive back positions in high school except for Chad. And also, I guess the last thing i'd like to say is

It doesn't matter how much room someone has to work with on a kick return, if there not xxxxing healthy enough, or even smart enough to make whats known as a "juke'' then there gonna get creamed at the 20 yard line everytime.

xxxx you xxxxxxxx learn the game, spend less time watching boys get sweaty during practice we've seen you out there xxxxxx xxxx xxxxxx to our football routines. And also, you really shouldn't be so open about your oppinons because to be quite honest, no one gives a xxxx about your oppinons alls you do is xxxx off the people that read the stupid xxxx you post, and another thing you do is frustrate players and get there mind off the game, meanwhile you make stupid xxxxing people that shouldn't have big heads actually get big heads, because the only way they should be proud of themselves is finishing the season, and also, you shouldn't abandon ship so xxxxing fast after you get proved wrong, admit that you don't know xxxx, stop running the stupid website alls it does is waste peoples time.

But if your gonna keep the website up, post stats, THE REAL STATS not your xxxxxxxx version of what you think happened.

Bye”

I love you too man, and thanks for reading!