Expert Analysis

A certain Sidney gentleman has convinced me of the folly of using silly statistics like first downs and yards in analyzing a coming football game. I give up. If you can’t beat’m, join’m. I provide here an expert analysis of Saturday’s showdown between Delhi and Sidney, Sportsboy32 style.

Delhi comes into this game with some strong credentials…..

- Several of our linemen are tied for the state (and national) lead in fewest false start penalties.

- Delhi’s defense against the triple reverse flea-flicker is nothing short of awesome! Not only has Delhi not allowed a single TD, Delhi hasn’t EVEN ALLOWED A FIRST DOWN!!! I guarantee that Coach Matthews is awake late at night wondering how in the world Sidney will move the ball against that kind of rock-solid flea-flicker D.

- Delhi’s captains can call the coin toss with RainMan-like ability. Coin toss winning leads to getting the ball when you want it, that leads to a successful game strategy, and that leads to big wins.

Sidney counters with an impressive resume themselves….

- Sidney’s placekicking holder is one of the best in section IV and maybe the state.

- Sidney’s proximity to a factory that engineers and manufactures parts for airplanes gives them a subconscious mind for speed. It’s an edge that no one can match.

- Sidney will play in their away white jerseys, keeping them much cooler than the maroon Delhi jerseys.

- Several Sidney players got to rub BenGay on the hamstrings of Zurn and Simonds last year. You don’t think that talent will come through after that experience?

Tough to beat Sidney looking at that. It’s no wonder Kerr put them at #1 in the state. That said, Delhi has the factor that I think will put them over the top. Thanks to some insiders, Delhi has gotten a truckload of some of the latest technology. It’s simply better than anything out there, and it gives the Dogs an edge like a Luke Skywalker light saber. The Dogs will not be denied. A truck arrived this week bringing a season’s supply of the latest in jock itch cream. Imagine the feeling of being fresh as the June morning sunshine, while Sidney is constantly itching like a jackhammer and burning like a California wildfire. Give me the cream, Dogs by fourteen.